Alandrea D'Airelle

2012-01-10T00:20:00.001+08:00

A good friend knows all your best stories. A best friend has lived them with you.

Hey. I haven't been updating this space of mine for quite some time and now i'm back again! I've been busy lately and couldn't have the time to update my dear blog. :( my mood is real bad lately, lousy state. I don't know why, i really couldn't express myself at all. I just hope someone would be there, just to hear me out, and be there for me. Why is it so hard? Many people thinks that i'm those happy-go-lucky type of person, but i'm not. I'm just not happy at all. Nothing makes me happy, absolutely nothing at all. :( Sigh..

Finally met up with my dear hunny, Chrysan, after quite sometime. Had a heart to heart to with her for few hours. And took some photos. (I know my hair looks really messy and untidy, my bad) We can talked about anything, anything that comes to your mind, we can just talked about it. Hahaha, next meet up would be a shopping spree! Soon eh! :p Remember that i'll always be there for you no matter what. No more doom days and sad faces for you, cheers hun! Love you. <3
ALSP <3 CLJJ. :p

So adorable! :p

No make up. :@ Look weird?

Oh well, bye!

2011-11-29T22:15:00.002+08:00

Upset

Nicolina,

I've read your blog. You know how much it hurts to see you treating me like this? As you know, I always treat you like my own, my bloodbond sister. Whenever you're in trouble, I'll always be there for you. Even though, sometimes you just don't want to share your problems just because you're scare that you'll burden me. The days when we just knew each other to the the days when we first met to the days when we had lots of fun together to the days when you home run and I was there for you to the days when I waited for you to end your national exams and you work with me to the days when I truly care for you, trusted you, believe in you, treat you like my real blood sister and told you the truth. Before I even told you anything, I already stated what I've to say before telling you. And you agreed with it. I trusted you, so I told you. I don't want to keep any secrets away from you, that's why I shared it with you. But now everything seemed to not be in the right path, but yet we're quarreling over this issue and I find that it isn't worth it. It's not that I don't know how you feel, I knew exactly how you feel. Maybe you just didn't feel what I feel too? Tears rolls down my cheeks when I read your blog, and saw what you posted on your wall. It hurts, you know I treasure and cherish you a lot? I really hope you understand how I exactly feel. The ache within me hurts deeply, its painful. I hope things will turn out better for the both of us. Takecare.

2011-09-23T23:08:00.003+08:00

Fears

Although we want to love and be loved, we also fear both. Our past experiences have programmed us to associate loving and being loved with unpleasant experiences and especially with feelings of vulnerability. For these and other reasons, we have developed fears and subconscious resistance concerning getting very close to another, opening our hearts and exposing our needs, fears and feelings.

Obviously, if we are affected by such fears, we will develop various defense mechanisms and even behaviors that will sabotage the relationships we are supposedly seeking to create or improve. When we are defensive, we are unpleasant and unloving. A lack of love attracts the same.

Fears/Phobia:

1. We feel vulnerable and are afraid of being hurt if we are open and loving and thus prefer to keep an emotional distance.
In such a case we need to remember that love never creates our pain. Attachment, expectation and needing the other are the cause of our pain. When we love purely without becoming dependent on the other, there can be no pain.

2. We do not want to give others the idea that they can do whatever they like with us.
Our fear of being controlled causes us to be unnecessarily defensive and unwilling to give and serve the other when appropriate. Being able to say "no" and lovingly and respectfully establishing healthy and fair boundaries is an essential part of a truthful loving relationship. Getting free from the fear of being controlled and learning to willing and lovingly give to the other what he or she needs is also important.

3. We would like them first to ask for forgiveness or at least realize their mistakes.
We are the ones who are suffering from our negative feelings associated with not being able to forgive and love. We are the ones who benefit by forgiving and loving. By not forgiving and loving, we are punishing ourselves, not the others. By not forgiving and loving, we are missing an opportunity to learn and grow emotionally and spiritually.

4. We fear we will lose control over them by letting them be too relaxed with us.
Controlling others with negative emotions and a lack of love is more harmful to us that to others. We need to choose between control games and love. Do we want to play these control games or risk losing control and experience pure love? This is our choice.

5. We want to place the blame for our dissatisfaction with ourselves or our lives on someone else who is "responsible".
We also need to choose between hiding behind the illusion that someone else can be held responsible for our reality, including being held to blame when things go wrong, and moving forward and taking responsibility for our past and present reality. Making a choice here to move forward and take responsibility for our own reality secures us the power to create the reality we prefer. Blaming others for what we are not satisfied with will never improve our reality. We simply condemn ourselves to stagnation, loneliness and unhappiness.

6. We are in the role of the interrogator and need to find others' faults.
Control games never bring lasting happiness. Love does. Do we want to find fault in the others or create loving relationships? Do we want to be right or be loved?

7. We are afraid of expressing love, because we fear that there will not be an adequate response from others and we will feel rejected.
This is a chance we might need to take. When we express love and interest, we might receive the response we need or we might not. This does not make us less worthy. Our self-worth is based on our being and not on how others respond or not. It is much more important to love than be loved. We can always love - that is in our control. We cannot always be loved.

8. We cannot believe that others could possibly love us.
We are in fact very beautiful and lovable just as we are. We are the divine expressing itself in the material world.

9. We have been seriously hurt by this person or others and cannot overcome this bitterness.
This is our test - to be able to forgive and love those who have harmed us. It is easy to love those who give us what we want. Even animals love those who feed them and care for them. Spiritual growth is a process in which we become secure enough within ourselves and our faith in the wisdom and justice of the universe, to be able to love even those who have harmed us.

10. We are afraid of being used, suppressed, limited, trapped or of not being able to be ourselves.
Love can never be used or limited. It is always free. We usually allow ourselves to be used or suppressed when we want or need something from the other. Our attachment and fear cause us to bargain our freedom in order to receive approval, security or pleasure from others. When we are interacting with love without attachment, we do whatever the other asks, when we can do so with love and joy and we lovingly explain why we cannot or choose not to comply when that is the case. We are free to lovingly give and also to lovingly choose not to give.

11. We fear we might fail in the relationship.
If this is the case, we have the choice to risk failing in a relationship or create a lonely life without love because we fear the possibility of failure. Another question is what is failure? Even if the relationship does not last for ever, does that mean failure? Have we not learned something and gained something? Perhaps there is no such thing as failure.

12. We fear allowing the others to become too familiar because they will lose interest.
This is an interesting belief that might say more about how we function rather than how the others do. Perhaps we ourselves lose interest in others when they do not pose a challenge anymore, when they can be taken for granted. Love can never tire of loving. Games can become boring. If relationships are games through which we verify our power, interest, attractiveness, or self-worth through the roles we play, then we and others can loose interest. When we experience true love, all of these games dissolve.

13. We fear that we will become weak.
Unfortunately some of us have been programmed to believe that love is a form of weakness and not for the strong and independent. Perhaps that accurately describes the images of love with which we have grown up. Unconditional love is the opposite. It is based on inner strength and personal freedom. We choose to love others because we love them, not because we need them. This requires the highest inner sense of self-worth and security.

14. We fear rejection or abandonment.
To be rejected or abandoned by another is always a possibility. We can have no guarantee that others will always be with us. They may leave us and they might die. They may choose to love someone else more than us. These experiences do not occur unless they are exactly what we need for our evolutionary process and if they are, then they cannot be avoided.

When we fear the above, we might fall into the following traps:
a. Testing the others with negative behaviors to see how steady their love is. Often we push them away and our beliefs become a reality that we ourselves have created.

b. We leave the relationships first, so as to not experience rejection or abandonment and "save face".

c. We do not allow ourselves to be totally committed and open - supposedly protecting ourselves emotionally - but in reality creating a dead unloving relationship.

15. We fear the responsibilities of a relationship.
This is a choice we can make. We have every right to live alone and not enter into personal love relationships that are naturally accompanied by certain commitments and responsibilities. Some souls have chosen to evolve alone in this way. It is a valid life style. The question is whether we are choosing it because we are being guided by our soul to do so, or because we fear the responsibilities of a relationship. If it is the second reason, then we will be stagnant in our growth process as we fear to enter into exactly the situations required for our learning process.

16. We fear creating the same relationships our parents (or others) had, when we were young.
Our challenge is to learn from those negative prototypes and take that energy and transform it within ourselves by becoming free from their effect on us. We have gained wisdom from those experiences and can now create a new type of relationship free from the negative qualities of our prototypes.

The fear that I've been going through till now, till today, it's still with me. I wanna stepped out of these fears, but it's hard to. It's never as easy as what you thought it might be..

2011-09-21T12:30:00.001+08:00

Zoological trip

Let the pictures do the talking;

Had fun at zoo though some things happened in the end, I'm sorry.

2011-08-13T00:30:00.000+08:00

Awake, alive, blessed

rise and shine. i'm late for school again and again. :( i can't wake up for school by myself, i need morning calls/someone to wake me up. sucha lazy pig. :@ woke up and rush to wash up, bathe and prepared for school. left home @ 9.15am and cab to school, as usual. reached school, went to meet up with rohini and co. had my breakfast in school, first time ever! hahaha, because i didn't like to take my breakfast in the morning. :/ awhile later, we went back to class @ 10.15am. half of the class was absent, miracle. after math, i went home to prepare to meet baby. had a short chat with mummy, though sometimes you're damn naggy, but i know you care. love you mummy! ^^ met baby @ bedok interchange. how sweet, he came all the way from jurong. <3 hehehe, went to far east to have our lunch then to ion to shop awhile. i wanna get a belt, a watch and my shoes like soon! :( been wanting it since months back, but didn't knew what to get. sigh, walked to far east again to meet tatsuya awhile. after that, took a train down to city hall to meet jun wei. city hall > smoke > peninsula > city hall > mac > smoke. took a cab back home @ 10.15pm, was a rather short meet up, but it's worth it. ^^

some pictures taken today:
Eric ♥ and Jun wei,

Love & me

well, i'm having a bad headache now. i'm gonna turn in soon, gonna wake up early tomorrow to pack my stuff and some family matters going on tomorrow and i cannot get to see baby for 2 days. :( gonna miss you baby! :( <3 goodnight earthlings, sleep early. ^^

2011-08-11T00:11:00.004+08:00

I'm somebody's reason to smile, I'm somebody's happiness.

hey readers, i'm back to update this space of mine which i've been neglecting it for months or probably weeks, i guessed? :/ well, i shall update a bit about my school life and then i'll update about the day on national day. i'm going back to school, like finally! i'm starting to like going to school, just because i motivate myself to go back to school though it can be sucky sometimes. but, this is life, it's all the obstacles and challenges we, all, have to go through. ^^

@ marina on 9th august 2011:

rise and shine, woke up and prepared to meet jeremy and hun cheng. i was late, luckily they were late too! hahaha, met them @ city hall. it was super packed there, as many people is going for the national day parade. -.- awhile later, met baby and tatsuya @ marina square, and waited for andy. after that, we went to the open space outside starbucks. ^^ chat, and took some photos.

jeremy

he is forever looking himself into the mirror, 24/7. hahaha, look @ his bangs. gu niang boy. :x

random shots.

jeremy

look @ his bangs, how kawaiiiii ~

hun cheng.

don't know how he can cam-whore outside, when it's super crowded with people around him. not shy ah! :x

adelphine and hun cheng

adelphine

the moon, so nice right!

tatsuya

candid!

andy

candid!

adelphine

*what's with that twist*? :/

eric ♥, andy and tatsuya

andy

trying to cool is it? hahaha.

andy and hun cheng

andy trying to act gay, but too bad. he failed!

tatsuya and andy

andy wanna seduce him <-

eric ♥ and andy

andy

so unglam, omg.

hun cheng and andy

okay, i shall end the post here, goodbye.

2011-08-05T23:16:00.002+08:00

you know i miss you.

2011-07-20T23:16:00.000+08:00

Miserable mornings, neverending nights

The world has changed, to the point where I don't seem to quite fit in. Everyone seems so happy, yet I'm all alone with no one there by my side and the lies have taken every last breathe out of my life. I'm confused, when no one is there who really understands me. I'm on my own. I'm not happy with everything/anything anymore. It's all the fake smiles. I pretend to be happy, but how long can I pretend? I really can't hold this any longer. All the happiness is bleeding through an open wound. I can't control what goes on inside this hell. I lost myself in everything, everything I can't find. Life's been a bitch for me. I can't continue being like this every single day, I hate the past, I hate the situation I'm in now. I hope the future would be better for me. :( Sigh.. I'm on the verge on giving up everything, I don't wanna care anymore. I wanna cry, but there isn't anymore tears for me to cry. It's all dried up.. Sigh. We've to learn to expect the unexpected.. Life is just so unfair. :( I just felt that everyone is starting to leave. I understand people come and go, it's expected. But why do you have to go? It's been a while since you've been gone and nothings ever been the same. I miss you more than you'll ever know. I'm sorry I constantly wanna talk to you. I'm sorry when you take long to reply, I get sad. I'm sorry if I say things that pissed you off. I'm sorry if I come off as annoying. I'm sorry for being an ass sometimes. I'm sorry if you don't wanna talk to me as much as I wanna talk to you. I'm sorry if I think about you too much/too often. I'm sorry if it comes off as being clingy, it's because I miss you.. I wonder.. When will my longing for you end? When will the sun rise up again? The voices in my head got me asking over and over.. When will I be strong enough to fight? It's time to realize that your gone and there's nothing I can do. You won't be back..

What I'm feeling is I don’t wanna talk to anybody? I don’t want to smile and I don’t want to fake being happy, but at the same time, I don’t know exactly what is wrong either. There isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If I could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting, and being alone never was. At least when I'm alone, no one constantly asks me what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take, ‘I don’t know’ as an answer. I feel the way I do just because, I hope the feeling will pass soon and that I will be able to be myself again, but until then all I can do is wait..

I'm running short of breath with every step. I'm in need of oxygen to run away from this. It's hard to breathe.

2011-07-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

Heavy-hearted, tortured, insecure

I'm left in the dark alone, with so many questions left unanswered. I need an answer to all these questions. It's hard to breathe now, no one just understands how I felt. How I wish everything wasn't happening this way, I didn't expected all this to happened. :( It's disappointing. I'm really sick and tired of all this, crying over and over again, trying over and over again, yet all I get back was shit. I'm tormented, I'm crushed, I don't know what to do. I'm confused, I'm lost, I totally got no clue. I don't know how to move on, I don't know how to pick myself up. I hate the pain that I'm going through, the stress that is piling up day by day. I chose to bottled up everything that I'm feeling now. I've lost trust in almost everyone and I've lost my confidence for everything. I cried every night to sleep, but why? Just because I kept thinking of what I'm facing now, going through, and thinking what will be next? It's hard to breathe. :( I just need you, is it so difficult?

2011-07-19T00:22:00.000+08:00

Major breakdown

How am I suppose to breathe? When all my heart does is bleed.

2011-06-19T17:41:00.002+08:00

Should I stay or move on?

Sometimes you gave me a feeling that you still love me, sometimes you just don't care, don't even bother. It's really complicated, confused. I'm sick and tired of trying again and again. If you don't love me anymore, just tell me straight. Don't leave me hanging here, don't be selfish. Spare a thought for me, please.. It's not that I don't love you anymore, it's what you did that makes me want to stop loving you, forget you and moved on. I don't miss you, I miss who I thought you were. I hate you yet I love you.. Sigh, moving on is simple, it's what we leave behind that makes it difficult. Just give me time, and I'll get over you. It hurts, but that's the only choice.. I'll just follow my heart.

Well, I'll do alittle update about the trip to Universal Studio Singapore. Sorry, I was supposed to update this last week, but I couldn't find the time to. :( Pictures will do the talking.

Siyuan and Cherie

Siyuan and Alandrea

Siyuan and Yukki

Adelphine and Raymond

Group photo

(Left to right):

Sweta, Briandon, Valerie, Raymond, Adelphine, Cherie, Denise, Xhyrius, Fredrick, Wenxin, Yukki, Juline, Alandrea, Siyuan

Sweta

Far far away

Siyuan and Alandrea

Unglam!

(Left to right): Fredrick, Yukki, Briandon, Raymond, Xhyrius, Juline, Siyuan, Alandrea, Cherie, Valerie, Sweta, Wenxin, Adelphine

Denise and Xhyrius

(Left to right): Denise, Cherie, Alandrea, Xhyrius

Hotel empire ballroom

Monster rock was awesome! Thumbs up!

Lovely lollipops

(Left to right): Siyuan, Alandrea, Raymond, Adelphine, Sweta

Guess who is this?

Lovely lights

(Left to right): Adelphine, Siyuan, Alandrea, Cherie

Xhyrius's

Siyuan, Alandrea

Xhyrius, Alandrea

Group photo

(Left to right): Fredrick, Yukki, Briandon, Raymond, Xhyrius, Juline, Alandrea, Cherie, Sweta, Siyuan, Valerie, Wenxin, Adelphine, Denise

(Left to right): Sweta, Yukki, Siyuan, Alandrea

Gloria's

Adelphine, Siyuan

Alandrea, Raymond

PS: Blurred face, unglam

(Left to right): Siyuan, Alandrea, Raymond, Adelphine, Sweta

Denise

So adorable, isn't it?

Alandrea

PS: Blur

Denise

Alandrea, Siyuan

PS: I've got fat legs

Yukki's pants

*HAHAHAHA*

Yukki, Cherie

Alandrea, Siyuan

PS: Blur face, unglam

(Left to right): Cherie, Sweta, Siyuan, Alandrea, Adelphine, Valerie, Yukki

Siyuan, Alandrea

Siyuan, Alandrea, Cherie

Adelphine, Sweta

Siyuan, Adelphine

Siyuan, Adelphine, Raymond

Handsome?

*HAHAHAHA*

Siyuan, Yukki

Alandrea, Siyuan

Siyuan, Alandrea

Adelphine, Siyuan

Alandrea

*SO UNGLAM*

Raymond, Adelphine, Siyuan

Adelphine, Raymond

Xhyrius, Alandrea

Siyuan, Adelphine

Shrek

Xhyrius, Alandrea

Alandrea, Cherie

The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal. The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up. I don't know if I should hang on or move on, i miss you.

2011-06-16T23:18:00.002+08:00

I'm a dumb girl afterall

Love was consuming me with an intensity that was an agony. Love was a bitter pain, a torment that was almost unendurable, a happiness that mocked me with its hollowness, a misery that tortured me with visions of what might have been.

You're the dream that hasn't ended, and I'm still anxious for the rest. Your words they seem to hang above my head. You're the bud before the flower, unfurls into full bloom. You're the song that writes a story, but leaves a lot to read. The closest thing to perfect, but the farthest thing from me. All it takes is one song to make me think of you, and I can't hear anything except the music and my heart beating. All of a sudden, I find it hard to breathe, butterflies in my stomach, and tears are running down my cheeks. And I don't know why.. My chest just feel so tight. I guess the weirdest part is when you hear a song on the radio or something and it reminds you of him. And then the next song after that. And no one else understands what I mean to you, except yourself. And you want to tell him but you can't cause you've already said your goodbyes..

The feeling totally suck, unexplainable.. Have you ever fallen in love, but knew they did not care? Have you ever felt like crying, but knew you'd get nowhere? Have you ever watched them walk away, not wanting them to go? And whispered 'I love you' softly, not wanting them to know? You cried all night in misery and almost went insane. I did stupid and silly things, just to numb myself and to refrain myself for thinking so much. And wonder if you would even care. I knew you hate it, but that's the only way for me now.. There's no other choice left.. Sigh..There's nothing in this world that causes so much pain.

They say sometimes I need some time apart, but I've got a bad case of broken heart, suffering from major heartbreak. And you're the only one that's got the cure. And I can't live another day without seeing your smile.. And my worst pains are words I cannot say, still I will always fight on for you.

I forgot what it was like to cry. I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy. I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future. I forgot that you can't control falling in love and that you can't make yourself fall in love. I learned that I can love. I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have...

Well, It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you and longer since we’ve talked. And the last thing that I said was I had nothing to say. Now I’m choking on my words. All the things I didn’t say that could have made it all okay.. You'll never know how much I miss you. You won’t see it in my face. You'll never know that I'll never find another guy that could take your place.. Cause I'll be smiling when I see you. No, my tears won't ever show. I might always love you, but you're never going to know. It has to be hard to watch someone you love change before your very eyes and know you can't do anything about it, but it must be heartbreaking to remember the way they once were.

And everynight I seemed to have late night questions to ask myself..
When will I find my place to be? When will I find the people I'm suppose to be with? When will my life get better? When will this pain go away? When will I be happy again? If Love comes back around, will I be ready for it? Will I just push it away? Why do I still feel like this? Why am I so emotional? Why can’t anyone care about me? What did I do to deserve this much pain? Will there ever be a white light at the end of this dark tunnel? Why am I scared? Why don’t I know what I want out of life? Why is it so cold? Why do I still care? Why can’t I just end it all? What do I have to do to get you back? Why aren't you in my life anymore? Why is it so dark? Why am I so fucked up in the head? Why can’t this pain just go away? Am I important?

When I was with you everything was perfect, I would forget every trouble and problem... I'd even forget to breathe. Now you're gone and every trouble and problem seems bigger than the world. I hate it without you... I hate remembering how to breathe.

I think the only reason I'm trying to hold onto the "us" that there once was is because everything else is falling apart. Nothing else is right. You were the last piece of happiness I got to have, the last fairytale I lived in. When the "us" ended... So did the good in my life. Everything’s different now.. Nothing’s happy.. I just couldn't handle the heartache anymore. It's not that I don't love you, it's that I can't.

Sometimes I think life would be easier without all these feelings that make living so complicated. There would be no hate, no anger, no jealousy, no fear. But there would also be no love, no joy, no hope, and let me repeat, no love. That's the kicker you see. A life without love is an endless monotony.

One day I just decided it would be better to bleed from cuts of love than to live without any scars. I just hate remembering what we once were... I bet you won't even bother anymore..

Well, enough of ranting what I really felt, it's all the heartbreaks afterall... Just gotta tolerate it. Gonna turn in soon as I've work tomorrow.. And try to clear my mind up..
Goodnight.

I've a sweet babygirl/bloodbond sister named Nicolina. Thanks baby, for all that you've gone through with me. Although we just knew each other but I believe things would turn out better for both of us. You never leave me hanging here and surviving on my own, yet we share the burden together. Thank god bringing you to me, letting us meet, know each other and cherish/treasure each other. No more being upset, and we'll continue to pull through all these obstacles together. I love you, nothing can replace you. <3

Our story : "The sweetest Bloodbond"

Here it goes,
Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Alandrea. And she was kinda sad that she doesn't have somebody to share her burden with. As days passes by, she knew this girl named Nicolina. And Alandrea began talking to her, and thus as days pass, they became closer. Treat each other like bloodbond, the sweetest bloodbond ever. They pulled through every obstacles together, through the happy, sad and crazy times. They both believed that god brought them together, to get to know each other, to love each other, to help each other, and tresure/cherish each other. From then, nothing can separate them apart, they lived happily ever after.

By: Alandrea D'Airelle

2011-06-05T17:28:00.000+08:00

Enduring the pain

As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life -- delight, surprise, dismay -- I hold this question as a guiding light, "What do I really need right now to be happy?" What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way. After so much suffering, after enduring so much sacrifice and embraced by the people, what is it that I still can't be happy and move on in life, yet I'm still stuck here. Yes, I want to be happy and move on in life with my daily routines and not being sad/frustrated everyday. Sigh, I don't think any of us can speak frankly about pain until we are no longer enduring it. But how are we gonna stop enduring all this shit in our life? It's parts and parcels of life, part of growing up. Well, I gotta start making use of my life, buck up with my studies, treausre and cherish those around me, and most importantly, I gotta think positive so I need not worry so much, be sad all the time. I just wanna live life being happy all the time. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.

Lixin bbg, cheer up. I know how you really feel right now, and that's what I'm going through the past weeks. It's pain, hurtful, heartwrenching. But what is done can't be undone. I wouldn't wanna see you in this situation, i'm always here. Luv'ya!

2011-06-01T00:31:00.000+08:00

Love is merely a madness.

Trust goes a long way. When you believe in someone, you trust them. You don’t hold back anything to them because you know they won’t do anything to harm you. But sometimes it’s right to be reluctant, because you’ll never know what to expect. Things happen when you least expect it, don’t they?

-

Well, 11 more days to my birthday! I've no idea what/how am I gonna celebrate it, or maybe I should go overseas instead. :( I've been struggling in school, exams is just next week, and I haven't started my revision. I'm gonna start my revision tomorrow, not gonna skip lessons anymore and be on time for school. No more lateness! :( Recently, school ended late and didn't have the extra time to go shopping. I really miss shopping. :( After 10th June, I would be having my holidays. *Happy* I'm craving for many things!

Wish list:
- A new camera
- Gucci backpack (AWESOME MUCH!)
- A new Miss Dior Cherie perfume; Blooming bouquet (GONNA FINISH)
- Gucci perfume (Floral)
- A small couch pouch
- More neoprints with loved ones
- Itouch
- Kate Spade shoulder bag
- Chanel Makeup remover
- Contact lenses (Coloured)
- 2nd Conch piercing
- Prada Gauffre Wallet (Black)
- Overseas to Italy
- More Stitch stuff (ANYTHING)
- A new headphone
- DC shoes
- Things to get better (<3)

Yeah, that's all I can think for now. Well, gonna turn in now.
Signing off, goodnight.

I'm sorry for not being understanding enough. Hope things would get better, for me and you, and the both of us.

2011-05-27T00:19:00.010+08:00

Unipolar depression

Stressful life, mixed up feelings, confused, complicated, neglected, not important, sad, happy, angry, disappointed, pessimistic, being paranoid. I don't know how to put these feelings into words. I'm starting to lack of interest in almost everything, insomnia, feeling helpless and hopeless at times, not having proper meals (1 meal a day), having difficulty in concentrating and thoughts of deaths and suicide. Many problems comes rushing to me, attacking me. I don't know how to solve these problems, it has been weeks since I've been through these. I'm running away from the reality, but still it comes back looking for me.. Feeling stuck, struggling through it, so much burden for me to handle.. Feeling so emotional recently, hopefully things can get better.. I wish, I hope, I pray, I believe. It hurts, really pain, feeling rather terrible now.. Unexplainable feelings. If only you put yourself in my shoes, you'll know how I feel, you will understand. Sometimes I tend to get paranoid easily, just because I care and I'm worried.. Sometimes I wanna burst out crying, but I can't.. Something's just holding it back.. Sometimes I wanna speak up, but words just stuck at my throat. The feeling when something is stuck at your throat, yes, that sucky feeling.. I know I may be too sticky at times, just because I wanna feel closer to you. I'm sorry.. I just wanna feel the love, care and concern, I just wanna feel safe and secure in your arms. Is it difficult? :( Sigh, I can no longer control my emotions and feelings. I just can't.. I totally hate the feeling of being neglected.. Who likes? No one, no one.. Words are just words, actions speaks louder than words. If you can't do what you've said, might as well, keep those words to yourself, don't say it. I really hope things would get better in time. We can't just hope for it, but we gotta put some effort in it. We gotta sacrifice, we gotta find time for it, we gotta sort things out.. Really, I don't wanna continue like this.. I don't wanna lose you either. :( Sigh.. I can't take so much burden at one time, I can't, it's hard.. So many things pile up together. Why must all these problems come at the wrong time? :( I know all these things is unpredictable, but still, spare a thought for me. I don't wanna continue being so emotional every night. I don't wanna think so much, I need time to clear my mind. How long will all these problems end? Every morning when I wake up, all these problems come back again... How I wish I can sleep and won't wake up anymore..

As you guys know, I've been skipping school for about 2 weeks. And I just went back to school on wednesday.. I've been busy with school, trying to catch up with everything that I've missed out, coping with exams and revision. I'm tired, dead beat. Still... I'm trying my best, giving my best. I have the urge to quit school, but still... I can't. So... I'll still be continuing my studies.. Hopefully, I can pull through another week or so, and I'll be having my holidays after 8th June. Alandrea, you gotta start to buck up and study hard..

Usually, people think that I’m a strong, happy person, but behind my smiles, they just don’t know how much I’m in pain and almost broken.. Doesn't mean I come off strong, means everything is alright/fine.. Life isn't fair. It’s just fairer than death, that's all..

Well, It's about time now, I've got to tuck in to bed. Exams tomorrow, wish me good luck. Goodnight.

2011-05-24T23:25:00.002+08:00

Sweetest gift from god

17th May 2011 (L)

2011-04-20T10:23:00.000+08:00

Hi, will update when I'm free. Kthxbye.

2011-03-28T23:59:00.002+08:00

The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.

Hey diary, I'm back to update this space of mine which I've neglected for so long. Well, I need to rant everything here. Life has been rather suckish for me, life is tough, life has been a painful journey for me recently. Life is like a coin, you can spent it any way you wish, but you can only spent it once. I've been going through so much shit recently, but it's a good experience for me. As usual, my parents nag at me for no reason, which I'm already used to it. My sister is a nuisance, for her attitude and her bloody tantrums. Well, family matters shall leave it aside - whatever. Relationship just suck for me, seriously. People are just getting more paranoid each day. I don't know what's wrong with these people nowadays - paranoia. -.- and you, yes you, caused so much shit for me to clean up. You know what you've bloody done, admit it that you were in the wrong, asking others to bloody grow up, then what about you? 18 years old already, yet you're still so childish. Your mentality is still like a 15 year old kid. C'mon, look at yourself before commenting on any nasty things about others. Yes, you were once a good boyfriend, but after what had happened, your true colours are seen. Your words just can't be trusted. Now I know how bastard you can go. You ended with me on 21st feb, and even before that you said your "body and mind is tired". What an excuse. -.- you're just giving an excuse to cover all those shit. After we broke, you wrote that you met another on 16th feb? :o so what if you said you didn't asked for her number yet, who believes? Only you, yourself will know the truth. You can lie to me, you can lie to others but not yourself. If you had even stopped loving me the last few days before we broke, just tell me. If you love another, tell me. Why would you lie to me that you didn't talk to girls in school, you didn't contact girls? Seriously, it doesn't make you any better. -.- don"t act as if you're so loyal to your girlfriend ok, actions speaks louder than words. I wish whoever the girl is, goodluck, if she is with you. Now I've got NO REGRETS, I've moved on. ^^ Afterall, I'm a happy little girl!

2011-03-24T23:41:00.001+08:00

失去了你我才知道你有多重要, 現在說後悔也沒有...

It's all the pain, it's all the hurts, it's all the memories left behind, it's all the photos we've taken, it's all the flashbacks, it's all the heartache, it's all the heart broken pieces left behind, it's all the torture.

:(

2011-02-26T14:23:00.003+08:00

I'm moving on, what about you?

2011-01-05T23:09:00.000+08:00

Hello stranger,

It's 11:03pm and I'm gonna update today's post before it turns 12am. ^^ In the morning, I got woken up by the sunlight that's shining in through the window, s u n n y. Straight away text my boyfriend and Kimey Kissette (Sweetheart). And I came online to check for my ITE course applications results. Guess what, the results put 'Nitec Beauty Therapy' but the application status is still PENDING. :( PRAY THAT I WILL GET IN MAN. D: Okay put it aside. Prepared and left house to meet bebe and Kimey. Reached Simei ITE @ about 1 plus. Guess what, waste of time go there. Stupid ITE don't know how to tell us the details clearly that we have to take our medical results before registration. -.- So me & my boyfriend left for town, and Kimey went home. ^^ Town -> Chalet -> Home (Raining cats and dogs). >:( Okay, I'm gonna complete my challenges soon, hopefully by tomorrow. ^^

Day 31 - Your best friend:
Actually, I don't really have best friends. Maybe only close friends. I don't trust someone easily, I take time to trust someone. Trusting someone isn't easy, once a trust is gone, it will take a long time to gain it back. For now, I only can trust certain people. Well, ofcourse my boyfriend & family. Friends wise, some only. It's for me to know and for you to find out. :B

Day 32 - Your crush:
I've got no crush. I only love my boyfriend, Matthew Anthony. (L) ^^

Day 33 - Your parents:
I've already written about my parents in the earlier post, do read up!

Day 34 - Your sibling (Or closes relative)
I've got only one sibling, which is my younger sister. She is 14 years old, coming 15 this year. Well, I've realised she is becoming from bad to worst (Attitude), her studies is dropping. She tend to disobey, be rude, no manners to people who is elder than her. Simply, many things happened within this sisterships. Shouldn't elaborate much on it.

Day 35 - Your dreams:
I've already written about my dreams in my earlier post, do read up!

Day 36 - A stranger:
I've got nothing to write on someone I don't know, a stranger?! I don't judge a person by it's cover. No point commenting on others or worst still a stranger, because it won't do you any good. :D

Day 37 - Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush:
I WOULDN'T WANNA WRITE ANYTHING ABOUT THE PAST, BECAUSE IT IS ALREADY PAST. WHAT'S THE POINT OF BRINGING BACK THE PAST HUH. I JUST LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!!

Day 38 - Your favourite internet friend:
WELL, MY FAVOURITE FRIEND?!?! I don't have one, and I don't wanna have one. Simply is because I don't get close to internet friends. I prefer those that I know in real life/in person. On the internet, you don't know what kind of person they are. They can be bad/good you might not know. So, having an internet friend must be very careful. ^^

Day 39 - Someone you wish you could meet:
When I was young, I love to wish television programmes. But now when I get older, I dislike watching televison programmes. When I was young, during christmas, there will be tv programmes on santa, reindeer or anything that has to do with christmas. How I wish I can meet santa, get those lovely presents I really wanted. HAHAHAHAHA, I know I'm still acting like a kid, kiddy kiddy. :P

Day 40 - Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to:
NO ONE. I'm those kind of person that only when people I know talks to me, I'll reply. People don't talk to me, I won't talk to them. And, people who DON'T KNOW ME TALKS TO ME, I'LL JUST IGNORE. :B

Day 41 - A Deceased person you wish you could talk to:

I really wish I could talk to my grandfather still. I really miss him. :( Sigh.... I don't wanna bring back those days without him because I still cannot forget it. :(

Day 42 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain:
ALREADY SAID, I DON'T HATE ANYONE. AND THE ONE WHO CAUSED ME A LOT OF PAIN, HAS DISAPPEAR INTO THIN AIR. ^^

Day 43 - Someone you wish could forgive you:
MYSELF. :B It is because I've done many things in life, some with regrets, never treasure and cherish people around me. Wanna know more, ask me yourself. ^^

Day 44 - Someone you’ve drifted away from:
WELL, I've drifted away from many friends I had in the past. The not-so-good company of friends, just slowly drift away, and ofcourse the better ones came. ^^ But who cares, I prefer being around people who treat me right/nice, unlike people who treasure/cherish their friends. ^^

Day 45 - The person you miss the most:
WHO ELSE?!?! I MISS MY BOYFRIEND THE MOST EVERY SINGLE LITTLE DAY!! :(

I love you with all my heart, never will I leave you.
I wanna be your favourite hello and your hardest goodbye.
Our heart locked, the key is no where to be found.
I love you bby. (L)

2011-01-04T21:27:00.004+08:00

Hey lovelies,

It's the first day of school (secondary & primary)! I guess it'll be rather boring or rather suckish to be in school on the first day. I heard that my school (Ping yi) has become much more strict than the past years. School rules have changed, timetable for everyday's lesson become longer (I guess it'll be boring) & CCA's clashes with our lessons. :( Luckily I'm out of my school already, heading for further studies (Hopefully ITE, if not international school). The results of January intake 2011 @ ITE will be out tomorrow (5/1/2011). Hopefully I can get into the course I really wanted. :( Anyway, tomorrow is the ITE registration day, I suppose. Meeting Kimey Kissette (Sweetheart) tomorrow! After so many months, finally can meet up with you ah. ^^ Boyfriend is going to chalet tomorrow, what about me?! :( HAHA, it's okay. Afterall, I'm still gonna meet him. Hehe, I'm really heading to school. But, I don't get why people hate first day of school. :( How sad, I love first day of school. ^^ Anyway, I'm just gonna continue with my challenges. I wanna complete it & try to find more challenges for me. Hey lovelies, do tag more okay, and ofcourse click on my nuffnangs ads! Thankyou, xx.

Day 21: A picture of something that makes you happy:

My dearest boyfriend, Matthew Anthony TJJ. (L)
Everytime I see this picture, I would just smile, automatically. It brings me all the memories, they day I first met him, how he asked me for steady, how we talk, how we laugh together, the quarrels and argument we had, the way you held my hand, the way you kiss me (Your tender loving lips), the way you held me so tight, the way you play around with me, the way you make jokes, the way you gave me nicknames, the way you hug me so tight (Warmth hug), the way we on shopping together, the way we chase each other, the way we solve our problems & difficulties together, the way we love each other, I just love you. Till today, 4/1/2011, 8:25pm, I still as happy as before, love you much more, more than bees love honey. 5months and counting, and still will be. I appreciate you, I cherish you, I tresure you. I love you no matter what it takes, thanks for everything, xx. (L)

Day 22: What makes you different from everyone else:
I'm different from everyone else, I have my own strengths and my own weaknesses so do you? Isn't it? I lead my own life, I never follow the herd, I learn and make up my own rules. I believe in myself, I just love being unique. ^^

Day 23: Something you crave for a lot:
I craved to study hard now and prove something out of myself. Last long with my boyfriend and marry. Earn big money, and buy anything I ever wanted. Bring my boyfriend and my parents overseas, to see the world. Just that, I'll be rather happy. ^^

Day 24: A letter to your parents:
HEY DAD AND MUM. (L) I wanna thank both of you, for everything, all the hardship we've pulled through together since the start when I was born. I know that both of you nag / scold for a reason, and that's mainly your care for me. You shower love, care and concern. :D I really appreciate it. I would change my attitude and temper for you, just give me time. Time will prove everything. I already changed a bit, I guess. :) No matter what, both of you will be inked in my heart if it rains or shine, even if the world is gone. YOU BOTH WILL BE REMEMBERED AS MY LOVING MUMMY AND DADDY. (L)

Day 25: Who you hate:
Actually, I don't hate anyone. I just dislike for some of the things people do. I know, no one is perfect on this Earth, neither am I perfect. Right? So yeah, as long as you're nice and friendly to me, I'll be nice. What about you?

Day 26: Why do you hate this person:
I HATE NO ONEEEEEEEEEEE! >:(

Day 27: Why are you doing this 60 days challenge:
It's because, I've got nothing else to post. This is good for me to update my little blog. (L)

Day 28: A youtube video:

Hello - SHINee. (L)
Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned
I HAVE MANY THINGS, for me to know and for you to find out. :B

Day 30- Who are you?:
I am who am I am, I make decisions myself. I'm a stubborn girl, I lead my own life. I'm just unique, I'm different from everyone else. I'm imperfect, so are you. My mood, my everything suits me.

Dear bebe;
I don't know if you would read this post here, but still .. It's for you. (L)
I wanna thank you for everything you've done since day 01. We've been through many obstacles together, we've pulled through alot till now. You changed me, you changed my life, you changed me into a better person. Giving me advices, supporting me from behind for every little single thing I do in life. You never fail to make me smile. Although sometimes we might quarrel, but still we tend to give in and solve the problem. Arguments in a relationship is very common, we've got to learn to face it, we cannot run away from the reality, am I right? ^^ I know my attitude, temper & tendrums can be bad at times, but still you know I love you always. I will change my bad habits, just give me some time alright? I've fall for you deeper and stronger as days passes by. When I'm upset, you will ask me why, and be right there to comfort me. When I'm angry, you still choose to talk to me nicely and hear me out. When I'm happy, I laugh, I smile, you get happy too, when I'm bored, you will play along with me, talk to me on the phone for hours. When we go on a shopping spree, you would buy anything for me, just to make me happy. You always try your very best, and you've gave me your best. I really appreciate it. I just love you for who you are, remember our promises? ^^ H3h3, I love you bebe. *Muamua*
5months, 1week and 5days & counting ... (L)

2010-12-31T00:03:00.000+08:00

Hey dearies,

I've finally changed my blogskins again. It took me like 2 hours for one blogskins to be up. -.- Isn't it long? Well, I'm back on updating my blog. Everytime I visit my blog, I see the dead blog I'm reading, the tags that is getting lesser and lesser. SO I DECIDED TO UPDATE A LONG ONE HERE. H3h3. I haven't been seeing my boyfriend for like 3 days already, and it's making me mad! :@ FINALLY I'M GONNA MEET HIM TOMORROW MORNING. I MISS HIM MUCH. :( School is starting, I'm still in my holiday mood. :( I HOPE I CAN GET INTO THE COURSE I WANTED, IF NOT I NEED TO GO ON FOR INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL AND I GUESS IT SUCKS! :(
Okay, continue with my challenges. ^^

Day 02: The meaning behind your blogger name:
Well, there isn't really any meaning behind my blogger name. Mainly it's just my personal diary or something that keeps me accompany when I really got nothing to do. :/ It's all about my daily lifes, my feelings, my thoughts and thinkings. It's mine to speak here.

Day 03: Random cartoons I like:
Stitch, elmo & spongebob. They are just so lovely & adorable. ^^

Day 04: A habit that you wish you didn't have:
I wish to be independent on myself by not having people to accompany me always. Well, but I can't, I need someone to accompany me. I cannot be left alone. :')

Day 05: A list somewhere you have been to:
Well, I've been to many places, in Singapore and out of Singapore. Thailand, Malaysia, China, Australia. Mainly these few countries. But I wanna go Japan, The states and Paris! ♥♥♥
Day 06: A person that changed your life:
My mummy has changed my life in many things. She taught me what is right or wrong. Whenever I have difficulties, she will talk to me and help me solve my problem. She always understands me well, she never fails to listen to what I've to say, my feelings. Although sometime she nags alittle too much, but still she cares for me. No matter how much she scolds or nags, she will always still be remembered as my loving mum. ♥

Day 07: Someone/something that has the biggest impact on you & why:
MANY THINGS CHANGED MY LIFE! FAMILY, BOYFRIEND, FRIENDS, SISTERS & BROTHERS.
They made the biggest impact on me, changed me into a better person.

Day 08: Short terms goals for this month & why:
Pray that I'll get into beauty therapy @ Simei ITE. Do well for my studies. If can't get in to the course I wanted, then I'll go for international school. And, save up for a new wallet. :')

Day 09: Something you're proud of:
I'm proud to have a good boyfriend, an understanding boyfriend. He've been with me for coming 6th months and still counting. We pull through every difficulties together, the good and the bad. Simply, I just love him. Well, coming to this Earth, makes me proud to. :D

Day 10: Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad:
Happy: Any song that makes me happy.
Sad: Slow songs.
Bored: R & B songs.
Hyped: R & B songs.
Mad: All songs.

Day 11: I Think I've missed out day 11.
Well, I'm sorry. :(

Day 12: Who do you miss as a friend currently:
Kimey (Sweetheart) & Beibei (Darling)!

Day 13: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently:
HAHAHA, no one has hurt me recently because I'm a happy girl now! ^^

Day 14: All about your family:
I've a mother, a father, a sister and me (myself)! They're treating me good, but only sometimes their scolding and nagging make me mad! :@ The rest is for me to know & for you to find out. :B

Day 15: Put your iPod on shuffle: (First 10 songs that play)
1. Take over control - Afrojack
2. Memories - David guetta
3. Zombie - DJ Tiesto
4. Lucifer - SHINee
5. What you waiting for - Mizz ft Nina
6. Silence - DJ Tiesto
7. The time - Black eyed peas
8. Life of a superstar
9. Pump it up 2010
10. One life

Day 16: Will your life change without your parents:
OBVIOUSLY YES. :( Without my parents, I wouldn't have money to stay in a house with my bed, have my phone, my computer, a school to study in, no allowance, no food & many more. They are just as important as why you need your parents. ^^

Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day & why:
NOONE. I just wanna live my life as it is, live it to the fullest.

Day 18: Plans/dreams/goals you have:
PLAN: I wanna study hard for my studies, earn money for my own allowance & be independent.
DREAMS: Go on overseas with boyfriend, last long with boyfriend.
GOALS: MANY GOALS IN LIFE.

Day 19: Nicknames you have & why do you have them:
PINGPING, Waterbottle, Xiang shi bing, Ping pong ball (Can only think of all these)
People like to make fun of me, so they gave me so many weird nicknames. But who cares!

Day 20: Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future:
Ofcourse, I wanna marry my boyfriend! ^^ He's a nice boyfriend, a good husband.

Anyway, I've got a little quiz taken from Adelphine's blog.

ABC about you questions:

A - AVAILABLE: Ofcourse not!

B - BIRTHDAY: 11th June 94.

C - CRUSHING ON: My boyfriend.

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Water, because I'm sick. :(

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Boyfriend, because he understands me well.

F - FAVOURITE SONG: Hello-SHINee.

G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Gummy bears.

I - IN LOVE WITH: Matthew Anthony TJJ ♥

K - KILLED SOMEONE: Nope. :B

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Forgotten.

M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOUR: Strawberry.

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 1.

O - ONE WISH: Last long with my boyfriend. :$

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: My boyfriend.

R - REASON TO SMILE: Family, boyfriend, friends, sisters and brothers.

S - SONG YOU LAST SANG: Hello-SHINee.

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 12 plus, close to 1pm.

U - UNDERWEAR COLOUR: -'- _|_ -'-

V - VEGETABLE(S): Cai xin, Baby kai lan.

W - WORST HABIT: Always need accompany.

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Unsure.

Y - YOYOS ARE: Cool when they're being swing.

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Gemini.

Random questions about you:

Spell your name without vowels: lndr.

Your favourite number: 23.

What colour do you wear most: Black, Blue & White. (Or maybe grey)

Least favourite colours: Yellow.

What are you listening to: Lucifer-SHINee.

Are you happy with your life right now?: Yes, obviously. I'm happy girl.

What is your favourite class in school?: PE, can slack. :b

Who is your bestfriend?: Kimey Kissette & Beibei Veldreaa D'Verette.

When do you start back at school/colleage: 10th Jan 2011.

Are you outgoing: Ofcourse, unlike you.

Favourite pairs of shoes: My vans!

Can you Dance?: I don't really like.

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: Nah, what about you?

Can you whistle?: Yup, you? :B

Cross your eyes?: Yup.

Walk with your toes curled?: Yup, you?

The DO's:
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: Nope.

Do you believe in miracles?: Yup, maybe?

Do you believe in magic?: Nope.

Love at first sight?: Maybe, depends?

Do you believe in Santa?: LIKE NO?
Do you know how to swim?: A little. :(

Do you like roller coasters?: Not really.

Do you think you could handle the stuff they put in their stomachs on those reality shows?: Nope.

Have you ever been on plane?: Ofcourse!

Have you ever asked someone out?: LIKE YES?!

Have you ever been asked out by someone?: Yup, you?

Have you ever been to the ocean?: Nope, and never would I want to.

Have you ever painted your nails?: I PAINTED IT LAST NIGHT!

The WHATs:

What is the temperature outside?: I DON'T KNOW, you check!

What radio station do you listen to?: 91.3FM.
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: Cedele.

What was the last thing you bought?: Food!

What was the last thing on TV you watched?: NEWS!

Who was the last person you took a picture of?: Mummy. :B

Who did you last webcam with?: Forgotten. :(

Who was the last person you said I love you to?: My boyfriend.

Crying section:

Ever really cried your heart out?: Yes, ofcourse!

Ever cried yourself to sleep?: YES.

Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: NOPE, but my boyfriend.

Ever cried over the opposite sex?: NO.

Do you cry when you get an injury?: YES, I'M A HUMAN OKAY!

Do certain songs make you cry?: Yes.

Happy section:

Are you a happy person?: YES. :B

What is your current hair colour?: Sweet pink.

Currently wearing:

What shirt are you wearing?: Black & white. (Stripes)

Pants?: FBT. (Light blue)

Shoes?: I DON'T WEAR SHOES @ HOME, do you?

Necklaces?: Nope, I broke it. :(

Underwear?: YA, you? -.-

In a boy/girl:

Favourite eye colour: Blue. (♥.♥)
Short or long hair: SO-SO.

Height: 175cm-185cm.

Have you ever:

Been to jail: NO!

Mooned someone: HUH.

Laughed so hard you cried: HAHA, yup.

Cried in school: Yes. :(

Wanted to be a model: YES. But I'm fat. :(

Done something really stupid that you still laugh about: YES. I'M CLUMSY.

Seen a dead body: YEAH. :(

Been on drugs: LIKE NO!

Gone skinny dipping: HUH.

This or that:
Pepsi or Coke: NONE.

Single or Group Dates: Group dates.

Chocolate or Vanilla: CHOCOLATE.

Strawberries or Blueberries: Strawberries.

Meat or Veggies: MEAT. :B

TV or Movie: M-o-v-i-e

Guitar or Drums: DRUMS. (They're cool!)

Adidas or Nike: Adidas.

Chinese or Mexican: Chinese.

Cheerioes or Corn Flakes: Corn flakes.

Random-ness!

Name one random thing about myself: I love my boyfriend. ♥.♥

I miss you much, 23rd. :(

2010-12-26T19:17:00.001+08:00

Hey babies,

I'm back to update this blog, accumulated lots of webbys. :( *Clean the web* Joke. Well, I'm free now, not working anymore till next year. Tired from working and now I need a rest. :( The good and bad things always happen in life, many ups and downs. *Sigh* It's just time needed to solve everything you're suffering or having difficulties with. Anyway, everything is better for me now, I'm rather happy. My 5th monthsary with boyfriend has just past, didn't really celebrated because I was really busy with work. Sorry.. :( At least, my boyfriend understands well enough, and went on for shopping spree and dinner instead. Singapore is really small, nothing much to shop. Everywhere you go, shopping centres will almost exactly be the same. I still love going overseas to shop. Christmas was just yesterday, went down to town with boyfriend, Adelphine & Raymond. Lizhen came along after awhile. Town was super packed, *roll eyes* Well, I hate going to places which is super packed, people tend to push here & there. We went on for lunch, and you know what? What I see is typical singaporeans though I'm a singaporean myself. People reserved their seats using bags, reading newspaper when they are not even eating, drinking one cup of drink and seat there for super long, running for empty seats. -.- *Roll eyes* Okay, shouldn't elaborate much. :/ Hehe, boyfriend is super nice, always travels down early in the morning to meet me, imagine travelling from bukit timah down to bedok almost everyday, sometimes he even cook for me! *Aww shy* Although we tend to quarrel these days, but all the struggles and quarrels, don't weaken us but pull us closer and stronger together. Remember what our promises are, the happiness/worst of times, we'll pull through together no matter what the outcome is. I will always love you, and I know you will too. Hehe. <3 Well, I'm not really into branded stuff but I got influence by my boyfriend. :/ Got a kate spade from my boyfriend for 3rd month, aww how sweet! <3 *Argh, who cares if it's expensive* Save up will do! H3h3. Well, I love PRADA & CHANEL. <3 *Evil laugh* Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Ferragamo, Miumiu, still okay for me. Jimmy choo's shoes is oh damn fucking nice. Saving up to get one! *Laugh* Well, gonna stop here.

I will always love you no matter what it takes, 23rd. <3

Goodbye. ^^

2010-12-01T22:58:00.000+08:00

Hey babies,

I will update once I'm back / free okay? :)

(L) Matthew bby, Kenneth brother, Vessie doll & Beibei darling/nuer. ^-^.

2010-11-13T15:17:00.000+08:00

Hey babies, I'm back here to update this space, as requested by many of you. Well, many bloggers are doing 'challenges' in their blog and my darling wanted me to do those 'challenges'. So, I shall begin with my first challenge.

Day 01 - 15 Random facts about yourself
1: I love my boyfriend, Mattew anthony.TJJ. (L)
2: I love shopping.
3: Music cheers me up.
4: I love being random.
5: I hate people who hates me.
6: I love sleeping.
7: I love talking craps.
8: I love sushi & non-gassy drinks.
9: I love stitch, & cute stuff. They make me happy.
10: I love my brothers & sisters.
11: I love people who love me.
12: I love black, white & red.
13: I love beauty stuff.
14: I love hello panda (milk) & strawberry pocky.
15: I love my family.

H3h3. I shall update when I'm free. (L)

2010-10-26T16:17:00.000+08:00

94 days together with you,

And counting & will always be.

Hey, I'm back! Sorry for neglecting this space and not updating a proper one. I don't know what to update about, as my daily routines is almost the same. :( Well, I shall do a proper update now. :) Life is great as days goes by, mainly because my dearest is always there for me. Although sometimes I may face difficulties in handling my own problems, at least I've someone who is always beside me through all obstacles. All the difficulties I face is just challenges for me to overcome it, how strong I actually am. Dearest will pull through all problems with me, no matter if it rains or shine. Life isn't easy, it is just simple. It is in our own hands, how we live it to the fullest each day. Sometimes I just don't get why it happens, it isn't a joke. The meaning of life is not an unquestionable answer, it is an unanswerable question. Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges. Perhaps sometime I just look at the wrong perception in life, well it's really a big difference whether you see it in a positive way. I finally understand what life is. We've to always learn to expect the unexpected. :)

Ah! I'm totally strengthless now. Suppose to go for work with dearest but I'm sorry dearest I'm sick, down with a bad bad bad flu, cough & body aching. Luckily I ain't down with fever, but I'm craving for fever. :( Gonna meet dearest today or tomorrow, i miss you & i love you. (L) Hehe, you know something, I've a darling called Beibei Rachelle Vandez. Darling, learn to let things go alright? Slowly, I know you're strong in doing everything because you'll always my pillar of support from behind. I'll catch you when you fall, when you cry I'll cry with you, when you need a helping hand, I'll be there. Just 8 digits away, text or call me k, dear! Love you darling, xx. :)

2010-10-23T23:15:00.002+08:00

Happy 3rd monthsary baby.

I love you.

2010-10-22T16:24:00.000+08:00

Hi babies, I know I haven't been updating my blog lately. Sorry for neglecting this space. :x I will update once I'm back okay?

I (L) Beibei Dessielle'Valeroze Vandez.

2010-10-19T10:20:00.001+08:00

Hey babies, sorry for not posting.

I will update soon ya. Love, xoxo.

2010-10-03T15:22:00.002+08:00

I'll be back after 7th october 2010.

Goodbye babe.

2010-10-01T23:53:00.001+08:00

We're a perfect match.

Okay, back to update this space of mine. Time flies, it's coming to the end of school. N level is coming, next week! Gonna mug hard for my upcoming national exams. 7th october is my second last day in school, and 14th october will be my last day in school. I'm looking forward to my early holidays, as I'll be working during the holidays. Studies is not really stress for me anymore, I've learnt to take things easily. Everything we do in life has it's reason for it. Everything in life has its consequences, everything happens for a reason. Every problem we face in life, is just challenges for us, and see if we can overcome it. Well, many things happened lately, the good & the bad. Well, I shall rant alittle here. I understand friends come and go, they throw the old ones, and go with the new ones. If they're happy, they'll join you. But if they don't, they throw you aside. Promises made, are all broken. Lied over again & again in a friendship. If friends are so hard to be, then I don't see a point for us to be friends at all. You choose to leave us, and join the new ones. You choose to lied in a friendship. You choose to give excuses over & over again. All the past memories, the happy & sad ones, are all gone. Down the drain, into waste. You, yourself know what's going on, only you know what exactly is happening. You can lie to us, but you can't lie to yourself. What's all the promises made for? Meant to be broken? You've really changed a lot, you are no longer the person I've known anymore. All the secrets we share, no longer exists. You just change 360 degrees. Not that I wanna talk about this, but look, I really can't take this feelings anymore. The feeling is really fuck up. I thought you were the right close friend for me, but no. You prove me wrong, you ain't the close & good friend I'm looking for. You're just acting, wearing a mask behind, trying to be nice. You gossip & talk bad about others, but now you're with those friends you once gossip about. What are you, 2-headed snake? I really hate it, really hate it to the max. I don't wish to hate you, don't go over your limit.

22 more days, 0 hours & 7 minutes;

23rd, I love you, you love me.

1. I love you because you're Matthew anthony.TJJ.

2. I love you because your girlfriend is Alandrea valdez.L.

3. I love you because I'm yours on the 23rd.

4. I love you because for who you are and not for what you are.

5. I love you because you're always there when I fall & pick me up.

6. I love you because you always sing song for me.

7.I love you because you're mine, and no one else.

8. I love you because of your smile.

9. I love you because of your warmest hug.

10. I love you because of your sweetest kiss.

11. I love you because of your retard-ness.

12. I love you because you love elmo.

13. I love you because you bought scrabby for me.

14. I love you because we're always together no matter what happens.

15. I love you because we've been together for 69 days & counting.

16. I love you because you bring out the part of me.

17. I love you because you're my boyfriend.

18. I love you because we're using the same phone.

19. I love you because of those things you told me.

20. I love you because of your promises you made to me.

21. I love you because of you saying 'i love you' daily.

22. I love you because once you send me home, you miss me.

23. I love you because I miss you now, when I'm blogging this.

24. I love you because our hearts are together as one.

25. I love you because I love you more than words can describe.

26. I love you because you're always understanding.

27. I love you because you're always giving in to me.

28. I love you because of how you reach my hand & hold me near.

29. I love you because you can tolerant me.

30. I love you because of your devotion.

31. I love you because of your kindness.

32. I love you because you taught me what is love.

33. I love you because you taught me my studies.

34. I love you because you're always picking me up from school.

35. I love you because you share everything with me.

36. I love you because you don't hide anything from me.

37. I love you because you always true.

38. I love you because you're always happy.

39. I love you because you always made my day.

40. I love you because you are yourself.

41. I love you because of how you taught me about life & myself.

42. I love you because you always made me feel you are by my side no matter what.

43. I love you because I know you will never leave me.

44. I love you because you're always doing something crazy/stupid/retarded.

45. I love you because you always care for me.

46. I love you because you always concern for me.

47. I love you because you're always worry about me.

48. I love you because you're always wonder if I'm fine.

49. I love you because of the way we stand side by side.

50. I love you because we're a perfect couple.

51. I love you because you always make sure nothing will hurt me.

52. I love you because of how you look into my eyes.

53. I love you because you'll always cheer me up.

54. I love you because of how you never let go of me.

55. I love you because of how tight you always hug me.

56. I love you because you quitted smoking for me.

57. I love you because you quitted dota for me.

58. I love you because of how you make my heartmelt with your soft lips.

59. I love you because you make sure I have everything I need.

60. I love you because you know I love stitch.

61. I love you because you know what to do when I get mad.

62. I love you because you are adorable.

63. I love you because you will never get mad at me.

64. I love you because you will never put me aside.

65. I love you because you are my first priority.

66. I love you because you're never embarrased to do anything.

67. I love you because of the way you look when you're jealous.

68. I love you because of how you piggyback me.

69. I love you because of how you dress.

70. I love you because of how you look when you're sad.

71. I love you because you always get disturb by me and yet you smile.

72. I love you because whatever I like, you like it too.

73. I love you because when I'm feeling the worst, you make me feel the happiest.

74. I love you because you always travel from the west to the east just to see me.

75. I love you because I'm crazy over you.

76. I love you because you'll always give me a goodbye kiss before I leave for home.

77. I love you because of how you love me like no other.

78. I love you because of your silly act.

79. I love you because I will never hate you.

80. I love you because of how we always play stupid games together.

81. I love you because when I'm mad at you, you would come & catch me from behind.

82. I love you because sometimes you talk no link.

83. I love you because of how you listen to me talk for hours.

84. I love you because of how you call me for every minute.

85. I love you because of how you put me before your friends.

86. I love you because you will always find ways to see/talk to me.

87. I love you because of how you're not afraid to tell me your feelings.

88. I love you because every quarrel pulls our relationship closer.

89. I love you because you would just speak your mind.

90. I love you because we always get along so well.

91. I love you because of how you make me feel when I say I'm useless.

92. I love you because of your voice.

93. I love you because you treasure everything between us.

94. I love you because you would sacrifice anything for me.

95. I love you because you would patch up with me after every fight.

96. I love you because of the feeling being secure when you wrap your arms around me.

97. I love you because I can't get enough of you.

98. I love you because I know you're reading this and smiling.

99. I love you because you mean the world to me.

100. I love you because you love me.

Goodnight babe, I'm turning in real soon. Shall update again when I've the time to! HAHA.

2010-09-25T18:29:00.001+08:00

63 days together with you. ♥
And counting ..

2010-09-22T22:23:00.003+08:00

I love you. Don't forget it.

Dear readers,

Sorry for not updating my blog regularly as I'm busy with my school stuff, worst still I'm sick. My illness is not very serious though but still I find it serious. Currently down with a high fever, bad flu, cough, headache (maybe because I cough too much) and sore throat. Worst still, my whole body totally no strength at all. :(

Happy birthday Kenneth Yeo, my dearest brother!

Well, what a boring day today. Sick sick sick sick sick! :( Didn't have a good rest last night, kept waking up in the night, phone kept vibrating, and something happened, shall not elaborate on it. Simply just DON'T FEEL GOOD AT ALL! :( Stayed up till 2.30am chatting with bb. After that, bb went to sleep. Body starts to ache, my eye starts to sore, my fever is running up & down, my nose is having a bad flu non-stop, my headache is on & off. Gosh! How? What am I suppose to do? Hah! Who cares, no one right? :) Had my breakfast, and came online till noon. Took a short nap after that. Slept till 2.30pm, phone kept vibrating again & again, as usual. ._. Awhile later, sissy came back and met the rest (Raymond, Anderea, Celeste & Valerie) shortly. Had my lunch and waited for bb to come over to bring me to the doctor. :) Shortly, bb brought me to the doctor. The doctor says I got a fever, bad flu, throat inflammation. And you know what!? I took a 3days mc. :b I'll be back to school next monday, 27 September 2010. Slack around & home sweet home at 5.30pm. I know its pretty early, because I'm having body ache, totally no strength at all. Shag. D: Well, my eye hurts now! Gonna turn in real soon, get my medicine & off to my lala land! Goodnight babe! <3

Yesterday; 21 September 2010

As usual, drag my butt out of bed, get myself to shower & prepare my schoolbag for school. Nowadays, I tend to wake up later, maybe because I just love my bed more. *Shy*. Lessons as per normal. School is as usual, but plain boring. :( Left the class at 12pm. Didn't went for geography mock test, didn't like it too! Went over to the AVA, helped out with the make up again. After the make up, headed to the hall. It was hari raya celebration. I was all the way at the backstage watching them dance! Took some pictures till me phone shut off by itself. Gosh! Low battery. :( Aftermath, we headed back to the AVA, got changed into our uniform & went off for lunch with bb, my sissy, Siyuan, Anderea, Raymond, Kingsley and Genie at LJS (Long John Silver). Left the place at around 3.45pm and took a bus down back to school. Well, during the night we got lantern festival celebration again. And guess what!? The dancers need to change into their costumes & put make up again. ._. It's troublesome though. :/ Bb and Raymond came down to find us. :) Waited in the conference room till it's the their turn to perform. Left the school at 9pm and walked home. @-@. Wasn't feeling well, kept sneezing for the whole entire day. Gosh! I don't know why either. Went for dinner and bb sent me home. *Shy*. <3

Last Sunday; 19 September 2010

I drag myself up from bed, was pretty tired but still I need to wake up. Get myself to shower, prepare all the make up & costume as I'm meeting boyfriend. Sissy is having a performance at kaki bukit community centre. Met bb, my sissy, Raymond, Anderea, Celeste, Valerie & Genie earlier for lunch. After lunch, we went to some nearby shop to get my hello panda! Bb bought me 5 hello panda as he knows I really love hello panda (milk). It's awesome! After awhile, we headed to a place to meet all the performers. Get the key to the holding room and started with all the make up. I needa help them with the make up. Gosh! Pretty tired though. After the make up, went to the place where they are suppose to perform, practice and do the blocking and went back to the holding room. Around 7.50pm, we headed to back. We suppose to perform at 8.50pm but the person-in-charge arrange us to perform earlier. Roughly around 9pm, headed back to the holding room, get changed and went for dinner. My tummy was growling like nobody's business. Ate something to fill my tummy. Aftermath, bb sent me home. Got home at 10.45pm. Pictures taken will be uploaded. ^^

Lastly,

Bb, happy 2nd monthsary in advance! You know I love you, i know you know me. *Shy*. Thanks bb for scrap, he is oh-my-fucking adorable. <3

Not forgetting my nuffnangs, help to click on my nuffnangs. Tyvm! :)

2010-09-18T12:31:00.002+08:00

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Life is hard, after all it kills you;

Life is tough through all obstacles that we face, we have to overcome it. Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be, your neighbor, your coworker, a long lost friend, or a complete stranger. When you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved,straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. Most importantly if you love someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. Learn a lesson in life each day that you live. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal, the story of life.

L a s t l y ,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAY!

Honey, happy birthday! Omg, i miss you okay? Hah! Another year older, study hard for your upcoming exams. Jiayou in whatever/anything you do, because your honey, ME, will support you all the way, no matter what the circumstances is. Through all the thicks & thins, ups & downs, we can go through it together. I promise, even if it rains/shine I will be there, a call or a text away can determine how close we are. From the day I know you till now, my dearest honey, we've gone through so much, the pain, the happiness, everything! Honey, meet up once your exams are over alright, I wanna go out with you! Anything, leave a call or a text, 24/7 for you. I love you, hun. <3

안녕 ; I love matthew! <3

2010-09-17T23:36:00.002+08:00

Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.

안녕하십니까! I'm back. Okay, for the feedbacks I get back, I shall continue updating my blog. Hah! These few days have been busy in school, studies, revision, programmes going on, outing etc. Dead beat! :( Seldom meet bb because he is working with mummy, at least I know he is safe. :) Well, went to school everyday, my daily routine. Drag myself up from bed, bathe & off to school! School is as boring as before, nothing amazing/interesting. Boredom kills. @-@. Movie on monday & today. Awaiting to watch 'Devil' with bb & brother. :) Sunday is coming soon, I'm looking forward for the performance (those who are performing, you know who you are). And I see bb again! :) I miss bb already uh. @-@. Sigh, hopefully saturday will pass faster. :) Countdown; 6 more days, I love you bb. <3 ^^

LASTLY,

HELP ME CLICK ON MY NUFFNANG ADS! THANKYOU, JUST A CLICK. IT WON'T KILL. :B

안녕 ; 당신을 사랑합니다

Heartache, my phone lost. @-@

2010-09-15T23:11:00.000+08:00

Should I close my blog or continue updating it? :)

2010-09-15T00:34:00.000+08:00

Won't be updating till I have the time to do so.

Changed number, get it from me through msn or personally.

2010-09-08T17:33:00.000+08:00

Holy shit, I love you.

Finally I can have a short break after my social studies & english N level. Phew. ~ Social studies came out on Sri Lanka for one of the theme for SEQ. Well, I did studied. Thanks bb for being there throughout, helping me in my studies. Xoxoxo. Finally I can get to meet you tomorrow! Can't wait for tomorrow. Hahah. Life's been tough for me these days, through all the ups & downs. Dead beat. :( Still got 1 more month before my N level starts again .. 27th september, I'm having my chinese oral. God damn! I hate chinese language. Grrr! D: Ah whatever! I'm gonna study for my rest of my subject soon. Hoping everything will run well, and after N level finally can relax. :x Graduation day on the 14th october. Hoping the day will come quick. :/ Countdown; 15 more days bb. :) Xoxo. I won't be online that often anymore. Anything you can contact me through phone, text/call will do. Or you can leave a tag on my tagboard. Lastly, do tag more often okay? :)

Bye for now ;

Why is love intensified by absence?

2010-09-06T21:19:00.002+08:00

Hai, having N's tomorrow! Bye, will update soon! :)

2010-09-03T23:20:00.003+08:00

Speak the truth, even if voice shakes.

National exams coming! :(

HI BYE, GONE FOR GOOD. :)

Lastly, I love 23rd's. I'm sorry. <3

2010-09-01T23:40:00.000+08:00

Look in my eyes and you will find me, but look in my heart and you will find you.

Updateeeeeeeeeeeee time! ^^ It has been awhile since I last updated my blog. Aww. :( I miss my blog! :( Tsk. Surfing the net is becoming very boring. So I don't have the urge to come online. :/ Anyway, today is teachers' day so, HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY! ^^ We had teachers' day celebration, videos & pictures taken but I'm lazy to update it now, will do it some other time, or maybe in my next update yeah. :) Well, N level is just round the corner. :( Gosh. 7th sept, having my combined humanities (social studies). 8th sept, having my english paper. Bb's gonna teach me social studies, thanks bb! <3 Xoxoxo. I wanna get at least a B3/A2 for humanities. :( Thanks bb for teaching me geography today, gonna meet you tomorrow again! Aww, i love you silly. :) Turning in soon, goodnight babe.

I'm sorry babe, for whatever things that happened today, ily. Xoxoxo. <3

Ending here, will update when I'm free.

2010-08-28T18:52:00.004+08:00

Love is fragile, but we're not always the best caretakers.

สวัสดีผู้อ่าน, finally I'm back updating my blog again. I've changed my blogskins due to some reasons. ^-^, only some people know the reason why. My daily routine, the boring one. :( No school for all the graduating art students, so didn't went to school. But still .. I woke up early, bathe & prepared to go out at 7am in the morning. You people must be thinking I'm mad right? HAHA. Well, I went out to meet bb, he woke up at 6.30am just to fetch me from bedok to his house. Had breakfast first before heading to bb's house. :) Slack at bb's house. Ohdear .. His siblings is oh-damn-adorable! >.<. Went out with bb at 2.30pm, cab down to bukit panjang plaza awhile before heading to cck. Met up with Yukiko & Terence. Took a mrt down to jurong east to meet Averlynn. Awhile later, we headed down to pasir ris to get Yukiko's & Averlynn's septum piercing. Stood in the shop for quite sometime. :x And there it goes, my septum ball lost again! :( Yukiko & Averlynn after piercing and Aloysius came. Shortly after, Adelphine and Anderea came too! Had dinner and took a train back with baby & home sweet home. :)

Today ; As usual. Always a boring, forever a boring day. :( Didn't go out today, bb is currently playing soccer. Well, bb plays soccer every saturday with his friends. So I'm kinda get used to it already though. :) Bb's soccer ending at 7pm. :( Tsk. Rotting at home since morning till now. Gonna go out pretty soon, with daddy & sissy to my cousin's house for family dinner. :) H.U.N.G.R.Y! :(

And this post is dedicated to Jayden, my bull. :B

Hi bull. :D Happy to see your post here? :) Well, I promised to dedicate a post for you, so here it goes. :) I know life is difficult for you, I can understand what you're going thru. You're 18 this year, think positively, not negatively. Enjoy your life to the fullest and don't regret for doing anything. Many obstacles that block us, is challengers that we must learn to overcome with & not running away from the reality. Life always has its ups & downs right? When fates comes, we can't block them but when they wanna go, we can't stop them either, right? Move on slowly, one step at a time. When the time is right, you will see how strong you are actually. Just hope for the better k?
Xoxo, your bull. ^^

SEE.THIS.ITS.A.MUST. :b
What every girl wants to hear.

102 Things Guys need to know about girls:
1. Do not cheat on a girl. We girls talk, we WILL know, and we WILL find out, and we WILL dump you!

2. Be aware of all your girlfriends’ guy friends, brothers, fathers, or anything. They are protective. Every single male friend we have will kick your ass if you end up hurting her.

3. Never ever miss an opportunity to tell her that she’s beautiful. We girls love that.

4. If she slapped you hard, you probably deserved it.

5. Do not be afraid of holding her. If she’s going out with you in the first place, it’s obvious that she likes you and wants to be in your arms.

6. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend -- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts or hoodie’s, and a really pretty piece of jewelry.

7. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely. We think that’s really cute and sweet.

8. If a guy is bothering your girlfriend, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.

9. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer. It’ll make her feel secure that you love her more than the other girl.

10. Never ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

11. Go along with her to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went with her.

12. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. Or else ..

13. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle. Let her win once in a while.

14. Memorize your girlfriend’s birthday. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life. Not gonna lie.

15. Don't drench yourself in the cologne, but smell good.

16. You don’t have to spend a million dollars on the Birthday/Christmas/Valentine gift. It doesn't have to be expensive, or cost anything but it has to be meaningful.

17. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.

18. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. That’s bad.

19. Remember: Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!

20. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; but doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

21. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.

22. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. Don’t bother trying to convince us otherwise, that is a bad idea.

23. It’s good to be sensitive, to a point.

24. If you did something wrong, apologize. Even if you didn’t, do it anyway.

25. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

26. We are self-conscious by nature; we can’t help it. Let it be.

27. We don’t shave our legs every day so just get over it.

28. Shave your face, no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we probably hate it. We like you clean shaven.

29. Show off a little, we think it’s cute.

30. You are our boyfriend, our man, our protector, whether you know it or not, you are; act like it.

31. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts. (two-toned baseball undershirts).

32. We love it when you hug us from behind and whisper in our ear.

33. "Fine" is NEVER an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

34. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you. Don’t obsess over that.

35. I expect you to call me. If you don’t, you go down.

36. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be. Don’t you dare take advantage of that.

37. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

38. You look hot in hooded clothing items. Always.

39. You should never tell a girl what to do. Ever.

40. Any decent man will ask a girl out to her face. I mean; if you aren’t man enough to ask us out to our face, who says you're gonna be man enough to our boyfriend at all.

41. Girls are very impressed when you ask them for advice. Unless its about another girl.

42. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

43. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

44. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

45. Girls need to hear how you feel about them. Often. Tell her now.

46. A girl wants to be the best thing that ever happened to you-and for you to recognize this and tell her.

47. If she’s not feeling loved, she will start looking....

48. We like it when you tell us what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. It’s cute.

49. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

50. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

51. We can fall in love with you without really knowing you, if you are an @ss, we will find out, and we will get over it. Fast. Don't ruin it.

52. You like her, make a move. Don’t just sit there, you will fail, and you won’t get her.

53. Baseball players are hot. The sport makes you skinny and your arm muscles… well, it’s hot. We’ll go to all your games even if we hate baseball.

54. When you compliment us, we aren't sure how to accept the compliment without leading you on or reject the compliment without hurting you. So just bear with us here.

55. WE HATE BEING LED ON! If you think it's bad being led on by a girl, try being led on by a guy.

56. We like it when guys are willing to have an actual relationship, not just a one-night stand. Most girls don't like pimps or players, just guys who like ONE girl only.

57. But don't be obssessive. Major turn-off.

58. Call sometimes, just to say hi, not for a certain reason. When we see your number on caller ID, our heart always skips a beat. Try calling just to say good night, or good morning, its soo adorable!

59. BE HONEST!

60. Don't ONLY tell us what we want to hear. We HATE that.

61. At sleepovers, if you wonder what we talk about, quit worrying. It really is only you.

62. If you catch us staring, it is most likely because we're spacing out, not because we really stare at you. Unless we smile when you notice. Then you either look really hot, or we like you.

63. We like it when you hold us when we're crying. It's good to feel loved and safe.

64. Don't go to our friends to talk about us. Come straight to us.

65. Don't tell us you love us unless you are positive you mean it. If we don't say it back, it's just that we really want to mean it when we say it. Don't say it right away, then it shows lack of commitment.

66. We like our hands to be held and our waists to be touched.

67. We like you to kiss our hand and cheeks and forehead (esp. forehead!!), not just shove your tongue down our throats. We do like to breathe.

68. We like it when you're tender, but don't lose your masculinity.

69. Do chivalrous things when we least expect it (ex. holding doors for us).

70. As surprising as it may be, while guys might actually look at personality, the first thing girls look at tends to be looks. We're not going to see you and think, 'I wonder what his personality is like!' Terrible, but true.

71. If we love you, and you're hurt on the basketball court, rolling on the floor in pain; we’re hurting more just watching you.

72. We LOVE it when you get nervous around us. It's adorable! Don't think you have to be Mr. Cool Guy all the time.

73. Don't play hard to get. We’ll get bored and move on.

74. If you don't call us, then we will spend hours thinking about why you never called, and we will waste a lot of time thinking about it, eventually coming to the conclusion that we don't like you anymore.

75. We lost interest quickly if you lead us on but never take action.

76. We might seem to flirt a lot, but a girl always thinks about the one guy she really likes right before she falls asleep.

77. When a girl likes a guy, she subconsciously gives him a song that makes her think of him every time she hears it.

78. If guys do the same as girls do in #77, tell her what song reminds you of her.

79. Randomly compliment girls in conversations. If you're talking about sports, be like "Oh, by the way, that shirt really made your eyes look green today." It totally throws us off, and we love it.

80. Ask us about how we're doing once in a while, and at least pretend to be interested.

81. If we're not talking to you, we secretly want you to talk to us first.

82. Play with our hair without being like a gay hairstylist.

83. We get really happy when you show any sign of interest. Don't just do it and then never do it again. Bad bad bad…

84. Keep up the conversation on IM and phones and in person! Don't be awkward. That’s bad.

85. We will always feel bad if we don't like you back. Not all girls are bitches, no matter what you may think. We hate to reject you.

86. Ok, so some girls are bitches and they like rejecting boys, but the people who wrote this group are not. Better?

87. If we say "Let's just be friends", we really mean it. Don't keep trying to pursue us, and don't say ok and then ignore us. That's just mean and horrible.

88. It's adorable when a best guy friend who a girl has thought about liking confesses he likes her.

89. If you’re single, find the one girl who’s always there on the sidelines at your football game, or at each of your concerts, all your baseball games. She loves you. Her excuse may be that she’s there for her brother, but she’s really there for you.

90. After you find that girl, smile at her once in a while, it’ll mean the world to her.

91. Get to know her, you’ll make her year first of all, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll end up liking her.

92. Not all blondes are bitches. Some are cool.

93. Not all blondes are sluts. Some have morals.

94. In your mind, give every girl a chance. Each one deserves at least one.

95. Girls fantasize too, its just not always about sex.

96. We girls give you guys code names so that you don’t know that we’re talking about you. :b

97. If you’re jealous, it may suck for you, but we think it’s attractive if you really care that much.

98. If a girl blushes when you talk to her, she either likes you or she's embarrassed by what you're saying.

99. Girls don’t really write your name on a piece of paper a million times if they like you, that’s a myth ... Sometimes.

100. If a girl really likes you, just seeing you will make her day.

101. Even if you aren’t all that cute, and we like you, we think you’re hot. Don’t take advantage of that, take pride in that.

102. Every time you smile at us, it may mean only a little to you, but it means the world to us. Don't take the little things for granted.

Last but not least, thanks Xiaojun didi for the stitch! ^^

Bye for now ;

2010-08-24T23:08:00.001+08:00

Before you can truly live, you must first learn to love.

HIHIHI. ~ My blog is gonna be dead one day, seriously. I don't know what to post these days & worst come to worst I don't have the time to update my blog. :( Sigh.. I've been busy with my school stuff, rehearsals, studies, examinations & ofcourse my N level is coming soon in september. :( Sad. My usual routine everyday, wake up early in the morning just to bathe & prepare for school. Have been skipping remedials & extra classes, don't know why. Feel like going but it's somehow wasting my time. :x Teachers' day is coming soon. :) Graduation day is on the 14th of october, hopefully everyday can pass smoothly each day. Having geography prelims tomorrow, needa report to school as usual, cannot report at 8.30am. :( Sad. Well, gonna sleep soon. Meeting baby tomorrow! I miss you babe. :) <3

Lastly,

Baby ;

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23rd's, matthew's girlfriend. :)

Bye for now ;

2010-08-23T23:09:00.001+08:00

You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt to lose.

Happy one month anniversary, sillybum!

We began as strangers, we became friends, we became as a couple. As what I told you, fate brought us together and destiny that made as a couple, a sweet perfect couple. Thank you for your tender love thru out this one month, you'll never really know how happy you've made me. Because in everything I do, you always have a part, because a loving thought of you, is always in my heart, because each little wish of mine, you've tried to make it come true. Be there whenever I face troubles, to solve it together with me, going thru every obstacles with me, I'll hold your hand & guide you thru. Words can't describe how much I love/need/want/miss you. I'm just crazy over you. I believe there are many more years to come. :) I love you babe! <3